Hey Mamas! We all know Motherhood is the toughest hood to walk through. I can’t imagine it’s all peachy keen all the time for anyone. Instead of focusing on how I’m a bad not so good Mama, today I’m gonna give you 10 ways I’m rocking motherhood!
Let me preface this post by saying all women, labors and deliveries are different and unique. Mine was awesome and hope the same for every Mama that gives birth!
Now, where do I begin? I delivered at 41 weeks and 2 days. Lil Mama was comfy in her cozy sac and was not about this outside world life just yet.
I saw the Midwife September 14th (40w3d) and asked to be measured. She was hesitant because she didn’t want me to be anxious or stressed. To everyone’s surprise I was 4cm dilated and 20% effaced! Mind you this is my first pregnancy. She said if baby didn’t debut by September 23rd (41w5d) she was gonna induce me. I did not want to be induced! I went back to work and my co-worker walked me all around campus trying to get this baby out. I looked at the calendar and said “she’s coming Saturday night/Sunday morning. She has to. She’ll come in the middle of the night so there’s no traffic getting to the hospital. I know she will, we already talked about it.”
Because I knew she was coming that weekend I decided September 18th (41w0d) had to be my last day at work. I was beyond tired and swollen like a blimp. I told my supervisor not to expect me on Monday, cleaned off my desk and logged out of my computer. I got home and decided to wash my hair and get any last minute things done. Like I said baby and I talked about it, she was coming between Saturday night and Sunday morning.
While I was washing my hair the Midwife called and pushed up the induction date to September 21st (41w3d). I was so anxious! I had to get my baby to come out on her own. I was Google-ing and Pinterest-ing and decided to use a breast pump to induce labor.
I spent Saturday afternoon with the pump and had some contractions but when I stopped pumping the contractions stopped. I took a nap and started again late Saturday evening. This time it worked! B was coming through the door from work around 10:30pm and I was uncomfortable. The labor brought on the worst case of the trots. I had no idea I was in labor though. All my contractions felt like menstrual cramps and the Midwives told me they weren’t real contractions. Apparently they were.
Around midnight I was in pain. Not unbearable but definitely pain and I knew it was labor. I was having trouble staying out of the bathroom and my Lamaze videos didn’t prepare me for this. About 12:30am I tried some Lamaze positions and nothing helped. I tried a shower and could barely stand. I decided we had to get to the hospital fast! I threw a few things in my purse for B and I, threw on a maxi dress and some flip flops, grabbed a bottle of water and wobbled to the car. Thank goodness B got a space in front of the house!
We had been timing contractions and they went from 8 minutes apart to 1 minute apart in about an hour. The ride downtown went so fast but never seemed so long. I delivered at the same hospital where I work so the route was very familiar. The more quiet I got the faster B drove. He ran just about every light!
We got the hospital about 1:15am when I got out the car I felt so much pressure! I thought she was gonna drop out right there. The lady at the desk took forever to get a wheelchair! B kept telling me sit down and I was sure if I did the baby would drop out when I stood to get in the wheelchair. Meanwhile some jackass parking attendant was pressuring B to move the car from the driveway. B yelled “Can’t you see my lady is in labor! Have some courtesy! I’ll be back in a minute to move the damn car!” Finally in the wheelchair and up to L&D.
The ladies at the desk were moving at a pace that seemed to be way too slow. They told B to move the car now so he didn’t miss anything. He left (which was scary as hell) and they wheeled me back to triage. The nurse was so freaking calm it was scary. I stood up out the wheelchair and my water broke! Finally! She was still scary calm! She helped me get undressed and a doctor came in. I’m yelling “no, I see the midwives, I want them” and they’re yelling back “just let us check you, we’ll get them.”
I was 10cm dilated! It was go time! But where was B?! Running back from the car he parked three blocks away. When I was being wheeled from triage to a delivery room the lady behind the desk yelled “don’t worry, he’s back! I’m just getting him a bracelet!”
I remember seeing a clock as I was wheeled into delivery, it was about 1:34am. They hooked me up to all kinds of monitors and machines and I was so uncomfortable. A few more questions and it was time to push. I pushed because I felt the urge, I didn’t want to push to a timer. B kept telling me to breathe and I could do this. I told him to stop talking to me. I was so hot and thirsty! A nurse appeared with some ice chips and whispered “You can do it! You got it girl! Time to meet your baby.” Her voice was so angelic. It was like the whole room got quiet, all I could her was her. Then a oxygen mask came out of nowhere and that scared the shit out of me! What was happening?! Is she ok? Am I ok? Oh yeah, I have asthma, probably a precaution.
After 2 pushes her head was out and was tired! After 2 more pushes at 2:06am our baby was born!!!! I was exhausted. B was speechless and baby was hungry with the cord wrapped around her neck. No worries, she was and is as healthy as can be!
They layed her on my chest and I was in awe! I had a baby! I just gave birth! Like literally just pushed a baby out of my lady parts!…with no pain meds! Just like I wanted it. Words can’t even describe the feelings we felt that night. After she found her way to the boob and the umbilical cord stopped pulsating B cut the cord and I pushed out the afterbirth.
Now with all the technicalities out of the way, B turned on some music and we enjoyed our baby for a few. About 10 minutes later they weighed and measured her. 6lbs 4.9oz, 21in.
As we took turns holding her B called his parents and I signed consent forms. You know the ones that give them permission to deliver your baby? Yeah, it went that fast!
Our lives changed forever that night and we’ll always cherish those moments.
30 years ago today at 8:49 AM one hell of a woman was born! And she is me! Happy Birthday to me!!!
In honor of my 30th I’m sharing 30 goals for my 30’s. This is a bit different for me, I usually don’t share my goals publicly but hey…here’s to new a new chapter!
Rock the hell outta Mamahood!
Be a Mama to two maybe three babies.
Live in a house we love.
Make more memories.
Vacation at least once every year to a new place.
Get my businesses up and running.
Be my own boss.
Have better relationships with some family members that I currently don’t, mostly my aunts.
Get back into my kitchen blog.
Have better diet and exercise habits. Maybe become a vegetarian…maybe.
Have a platform to inspire women to feel better and be better in their own right.
Be more comfortable with myself and stop letting others take my shine.
Be an awesome role model for my little girl.
Create passive income.
Be a stay at home Mama.
Home school my babies.
Don’t become a Mama that looses herself in being a Mama. In other words, I don’t want to fall into the “typical Mom” category. You know, yoga pants, messy hair, haven’t bathed in days. That’s just not me.
Live up to my full potential!
Don’t be discouraged. F*** the naysayers, what do they know?!
Never be a doormat…for ANYONE, family included! Those days are over!
Live the hell outta my dreams! I have so many and I cannot wait to live them.
Work smarter, not harder.
Never doubt that my family and I deserve to have our dreams come true.
Don’t be afraid to invest in my family and I. Whether it me mentally or financially.
For my kids to admire me and understand I only want the best for them.
What goals do you have for the next decade of your life?
I love inspirational and motivational quotes. They tend to inspire me and/or make me think and reflect. I have a board on Pinterest called Good Words which currently holds over 450 quotes they inspire me. Below are some of my faves.
I hate to see/hear women tearing each other apart. What good does that do? I think it’s more of a reflection on the woman tearing than the woman being torn.
One of my faves ladies Shanel Cooper-Sykes broke this down a few years ago. I have to remind myself that I live for me, not for your opinion of me.
Another one of my fave ladies Myleik Teele. She is truly a powerhouse! Over the years I have lost many a friend and was often saddened my it. One by one I began realizing those were never real friends and I’m more grateful that they’re gone.
Yes, you can. Whatever it may be, you can.
I can’t lie, I can be such a scary cat sometimes. It’s so much I want out of life and as the saying goes “closed mouthes don’t get fed”. In other words speak up for what you want and be bold enough to knock and ask.
Stop being such a Debbie Downer! Look on the bright side. See the positive in situations. It won’t hurt, I promise.
Never, ever, ever let anyone dull your sparkle!
Change your mind, change your life! I believe Shanel Cooper-Sykes first brought it to my attention that thoughts and your mindset can change your life positively or negatively. If your life needs to change your mind needs to change first.
Simple as that! You can only make me feel less than if I allow you to. Trust me, I won’t allow you to.
When you forget that you can and then the light bulb goes comes on…yeah, you can!
So today didn’t go as planned. You didn’t get the job, you mom pissed you off, the kids acted a fool all day and you lost your cool with a client. Guess what?! Take a bath, have some wine (or tea, or ice cream) and get right back out there tomorrow! It’s a new day and a second chance.
I hope some of my fave quotes can help you too. Please share your faves in the comments.