It’s OK to be a Selfish Mom



Being a selfish Mom is way better than you think. I promise you won't feel bad about it. | TheMamaDen.comOk, hear me out. As moms we’re ALWAYS giving. Giving to our husbands, our kids, our homes, our jobs, our friends and so on.¬†At some point you have to be a bit selfish and give back to yourself! In the past 18 months I cannot tell you how many times I haven’t done something for me in order to do something for B, Camille or home. It’s not that they don’t appreciate it, they do but I’m neglecting myself in return and it’s my own fault.

I also cannot tell you how many times B has told me to take advantage of when Camille is sleeping. The dishes and laundry aren’t going anywhere. But, like most moms I’m striving to have it all together. I’ve since realized that I’m falling apart by trying to have it all together. Life ain’t perfect so why am I trying to be?

My Selfish Mom Moment

Take some time for you. It doesn’t have to be a weekend getaway with the girls or even a full work day. If you can snatch 15 minutes to paint your nails, do it! 30 minutes between putting the kids to bed and your bed time? Read a book. If folding the laundry absolutely cannot wait, listen to your favorite playlist, podcast or an audio book while you fold.

Last week I was telling B I wanted to take a bath. Not a shower (my go-to) but a real bath. You know, bubbles, bath salts, a candle, a cup of tea or glass of wine. He looked so puzzled! He’s like ok…go now. And I’m like: but Camille is wide awake and I have to meal prep and finish the laundry and {insert long ass chore list here}.

Why?! Why am I so hard headed? Why didn’t I just go?

Guess what? The next time Camille went to sleep I ran to the tub! I got my candle and some bubbles took a bath. The moment I sat in the water I could say was “God is good”. I felt so relaxed. You would’ve thought it was my first bath ever. It was so relaxing and peaceful I almost took a bath at 1 AM the next morning but I was too sleepy. I also realized why baths put Camille to sleep so well.

Ways to be a Selfish Mom

  • Let Daddy do it!
  • Accept help when it’s offered.
  • Take a bath.
  • Read a book.
  • Polish your nails,
  • Play in your makeup.
  • Take a nap!
  • Journal.
  • Meditate/Pray
  • Play games on your phone.
  • Catch up on your favorite TV shows.
  • Run errands alone.
  • Blast your favorite music in your headphones.

Being a selfish mom is all the new rage! Get with the program! |


Choose an activity from above and act on it ASAP!


A more peaceful, happy, calm you. Moms are the center of it all. The earth actually revolves around us and we need to be in order. If we’re not right, the house ain’t right and we all know it! Journaling in the morning makes my days more peaceful. The hot bath at night makes my sleep better. I don’t even care about the laundry anymore…until someone is out of clean undies.


Do you believe me now? I sure hope so. I have found more peace in being selfish than I have with giving all the time. I have something to look forward to at night when B and Camille are sleep. Am I losing sleep? Sure am! But I feel more relaxed. I swear y’all, that late night candle lit bath and/or shower is where it’s at! Get you one and let me know how ou feel!

Go forth and be SELFISH!

Go forth and be selfish! |



April 26, 2017
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  • Reply Katy

    Love this post so much!

    April 30, 2017 at 3:33 PM
    • Reply Dae

      Thanks Katy!

      June 20, 2017 at 9:34 AM
  • Reply Cyndi

    This is so true and I didn’t start figuring it out until I had been a Mom for 21 years! When I was a single Mom working two jobs in my twenties somehow I managed to do little things for myself. Inexpensive and most often free but oh what a difference a little self care can make. It wasn’t until recently that I could look back and see that those little “selfish” moments are what kept me strong and motivated to do what I needed to do and continue to put my focus on the things that were most important. I had it more “together” then or at least felt better about not. For the past 7 years though I have struggled to “get it all done” and felt so bad when I didn’t that in order to do so I simply took myself off the list! I still didn’t get it all done and ended up feeling even worse about myself in the process. Now that I put myself back on the list and at a higher priority than laundry and other chores, my life and the life of my family has improved immensely. My marriage is better and my kids are happier and believe it or not more things are getting done. What you said about Moms being the center of it all really resonated with me. So much in fact that you gave me the “courage” to comment for the very first time on any social media site including Facebook posts of family members. Thank you for this post!

    May 20, 2017 at 10:39 PM
    • Reply Dae

      Hi Cyndi! Thanks so much for reading! I’m so happy you commented and you’re putting being a “selfish” Mama at the top of your list! We really are the center of it all and deserve the down time to regroup. Like they say “If Mama ain’t happy, no one is happy!”.

      June 20, 2017 at 9:36 AM
  • Reply Cathy | Smart Mom Ideas


    I LOVE this post! I can’t tell you how much I yearn for ME time and yes, I do feel so guilty. I have a son and all I do is clean, clean up, and organize. All he wants is to play. I’m torn between these things all day! My husband is a rock and we’ve agreed on Sunday afternoon is daddy time for my son. He takes him out of the house and I get an hour or two to myself. I blast up the music (loving Taylor Swift!) and dance and just relax! It’s great and it recharges me for the upcoming week.
    Cathy | Smart Mom Ideas recently posted…3 Steps to Having a Viral Pin (From 300 to 1.2k Visitors in 1 Day)My Profile

    May 21, 2017 at 11:51 AM
    • Reply Dae

      Hi Cathy! I struggled with the guilt too but I remember something my cousin told me a few years ago, “that mess will be there in the morning!”. I also realized if I just push all the toys to one corner that can at least keep my daughter contained to one space for a while the next time she comes down to play. That also allows me to quickly vacuum the rest of the floor before she takes over. Enjoy your Sunday afternoons and Taylor!

      June 20, 2017 at 9:39 AM

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