About six years ago B and I were talking bout having kids. He mentioned he would like for me to be a stay at home mama. I was NOT trying to here that at all. Six years ago I was 24 with a full time job and going to school full time. My major was Nursing and I could not imagine wasting my 20’s in school earning a degree and then spending my 30’s at home with kids. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted kids but I was so wiling to pay for child care.
Fast forward to now and returning to work is the last thing I want to do. What changed my mind you ask? Several things over the years.
- Personal growth
- Horror stories on the news about child care providers abusing children
- The cost of child care
- Realizing that people don’t care for your loved ones the same way you do/will
- Asking children “what did you do today?” and them responding “watch TV”
- Fear that my child won’t be mentally stimulated for 9 hours each day
- Not wanting to miss seeing my child grow and evolve
- Having a someone else practically raising my child
All that on top of the visit I took to a child care center last week. I understand being a stay at home parent is not feasible or desirable for all and I’m not shamming those people, these are just my personal reasons.
An exception would be a family member or friend. The in-laws would love to do it and I have considered them. Actually I would love for them to do it but they are currently my only child care option. I would much rather have them on reserve for date nights an such. I also don’t want to work all day and bring that “I’m-so-sick-of-that-place/I-hate-my-job” energy home to my family. It’s hard enough sometime turning that off or at least masking it when I see B.
Another exception would be working from home or working part-time. I’m pretty sure my supervisor (I hate the word “boss”) would not allow that. I’m still waiting for her to respond to an email asking can I work from home while on bed rest…that I sent in April!
The only option I see right now is to say f*** it all and be happy at home with my baby! Does the idea of losing my income scare me? Hell yeah! Well not really, the cost of child care would take about 70% of my income. But the satisfaction of knowing my baby will be very well taken care of and I’ll be here to see her develop makes me feel so much better.
So have I officially resigned? Nope, it’s still not set in stone that I’m able to resign but believe me I’m doing all I can to figure it out!